baby loves a theme...

Helvetica isn't working. It keeps giving me Helvetica's evil step-brother Arial. I'm not having a great day. I wouldn't even call it a good day. I'm kind of stressing about absolutely everything for no particular reason and it's making me cranky and melancholy. I'm pretty sure this has to do with not having my ADHD medication totally copacetic with my brain.* I feel like these down times of pseudo restless sadness are good times to push myself to do things that stimulate me in a way I find gratifying; and since I like to wax loftily with my unsolicited (sometimes solicited) advice, I am going to talk about wedding party thank you gifts!

This was one of the FAQ's on TK's boards when I was a regular and I think it's a good one, although you should probably scan a message board before you ask this question, if you jump the gun you'll be the 12,000,000th customer. So, let me answer this question (again): DO NOT BE FOOLED. I know, it's a little known fact that marketing departments like to trick us brides into buying a million pieces of junk that we will never want to see again after the wedding is over. Your bridesmaids do not want bedazzled shirts that declare 'team bride' or 'bridesmaid' or 'brideslave', etc. They also don't want totes filled with glittering plastic that will break and clutter up their closets and/or trash bins. They're probably also big girls and you can rely on them to pick out their own jewelry for the day of your wedding, and buying them something for the day of YOUR wedding is not a thank you gift, it's a uniform. David Tutera is wrong, they don't need to wear the same accessories. Your bridesmaids want to feel appreciated and acknowledged. The same kind of acknowledgement that you want, simply for being a bride. They're individuals and they're your best friends; if all of your best friends have the same taste in jewelry, I don't believe you. Etiquette and the power of friendship compels you to treat them as individuals, not a collective hive. So, keep them in mind as your besties not as your bridesmaids.

That being said...is there anything wrong with a theme? Steve loves themes and so do I.** We had one conversation about wedding party gifts and it went something like this:

Steve: Oh, yeah....I have to get them presents. How much should we spend?
Me: Hmph. I don't know? How much do we love them?
Steve: Like $75-$100 worth?
Me: That seems reasonable.

FYI, Steve and I do not actually put a dollar value on how much we love our friends. This is just the way we talk. Also, that is a lot of money for us, we just love our friends and they have all been wonderful to us. Anyway, there was a lull in the conversation and I was probably watching Law and Order: Criminal Intent, when I look over and see Steve's screen.

Me: OMG! You're not looking at Things Remembered, are you? No! Bad Steve!
Steve: What? That's what you do for gifts. Aren't you getting the girls jewelry with their initials on it?
Me: I have no idea what I am getting 'them', I'm not getting 'them' anything, I'm getting 5 of my friends a present! 'Them' as a group, not withstanding!
Steve: Ok, wedding Nazi. So...cuff links?
Me: No! You have to get them something that they will all love as individuals.
Steve: Can't I get them all the same thing, but different? I think there should be a theme. I like themes, everything should be themed.
Me: Only if it's the most righteous theme ever like spoiler alert.

And then there was this awesome moment of clarity where we just stared at each other and realized, we had the most epic theme ever. The theme will not end with the groomsmen, because my ladies are for sure getting this theme, too. I am so excited because everyone is going to be thrilled with their gift and Steve's compulsive need for thematic presents will be fulfilled. Every time I think of it, I just want to cackle like the devil in the pale moonlight, I'm so stoked on buying them their presents. If you've ever read my response to this question on the message boards, then you probably know how I finished that sentence and what the theme is. If you do, I hope you get a chuckle out of this (something that started as a persistent joke is being realized) and don't say it because my wedding party reads my blog - and I really like to give them teasers.




* These things are a delicate science and for any ladies who have been contemplating toying with mood altering drugs on your wedding day, M addresses every reason (better than I could) why you shouldn't here.  

** I'm going to pull this once: I don't care what you think about themes!! This is going to be hilarious and everyone will love it and laugh, and it will be epic, don't judge me! It's MY day.