drool monster.

This photo was taken at 8:45 am. It's 11:22. That is what I look like after a night of drinking at 8:45am. It's not pretty. What's sad is that I still look roughly about the same. I finally opened the package and was greeted by a pamphlet that says, "Congratulations! You just took the first step to a bright, whiter smile!" Nothing like some good ole' fashioned encouragement!

I didn't realize I'm supposed to wear these twice a day, for half an hour. They say that if I have a busy lifestyle, I can do it back to back. They don't tell you if you're supposed to start with freshly brushed teeth, but I think that is a reasonable assumption.

I'm drooling! The top one was super easy to apply. The bottom? Really not so much and it is making me drool, a lot. This is causing slippage on the bottom one. Next time I think I am going to try to dry my teeth off a little bit after brushing.

Also, keeping the gel off of my gums? Way easier said than done. The bottom one is so annoying! I really feel like it's falling off. Whitestrips struggles. Surprisingly though, the taste of the gel isn't totally unbearable. I didn't even think of the potential gag factor when I bought them. Obviously, I am not trying to taste it but the occasional gel will eek out.


I think for this hour of my day that will be spent with these things on my teeth, I will be surfing the web and watching the X-FIles on my Netflix instant queue. Right now I am watching Season 1, epsisode 10. Moulder and Scully are investigating a train derailment but they can't seem to find any train tracks.

I'm also trying to get inspiration for our engagement session. I have no idea what we should do. Our photographer is a genius (Brian Ambrose) So I am looking over his galleries and hoping to be struck by a pose. Nothing is really doing it for me though. Brian is great and has a marvelous sense of who we are so I am not too worried. On Brian's website in the engagement section, there is this really moving picture of a soldier coming home and being hugged by his fiancee; there are all these welcome home signs in the background. It is such a great shot. Sigh...love.

OK, time to rinse; my teeth feel weird. They didn't get agitated with the cold water I used to rinse off the gel. However, I wanted to do some in depth testing so I tapped on all of them with my finger nail (very scientific). I didn't realize that all teeth make a slightly different sound, nifty. One of my bottom teeth, specifically, gets a little grumpy when I tap it. I think that it may be too early to determine the exact amount of tooth sensitivity, but I don't think I am going to do anymore tapping.

experiment 1 (may cause drooling)

I am not happy with my teeth. Like, seriously: I want to credit this picture for opening my eyes to the problem.

Happy 26th - complete with Yoda assuring me that I was not only a birthday girl but a Jedi Knight, and my dear friends wrapped up this month's issue of The Knot, of course. But - notice! The jaundice shade of my teeth is distracting, no? I don't neglect dental hygiene, either. I brush, I floss, I mouth-wash. Still, my teeth are in need of a pick-me-up; our engagement session is May 20th and this status really is unacceptable.

Since I do not have the funds to get my teeth professionally whitened I am going to opt for an O-T-C strip system. There are so many options out there that I feel like the shelves of drug stores are lined with whitening systems. Naturally, I went on Consumer Search to at least get an idea of where to start, if not make a decision. After professional whitening regimens - starting at $300 going up to over $1,000 - Crest White Strips Premium is the highest consumer rated product (linked to review page).
Behold! Crest Premium Whitestrips:
7 day System
Pros:
O-T-C availability
Inexpensive ($20-$35)
Easy to Use
Cons:
May cause tooth/gum sensitivity
Not as effective as professional whitening
May cause drooling*

*file under my personal favorite

I read over the past few months of Amazon reviews. There was only one review that said the strips didn't make any difference, I think that in the midst of the overwhelming positive response to the product this can be chalked up to misuse or simply a bad banana in the bunch. Of the 96 reviews only 10 were 1 star and the vast majority were 5 and 4 star. The points that I gathered from the positive reviews are as followed:

1. In the case that the strips don't make your teeth "white enough" it's easy to re-use the product to double the results.
2. Teeth sensitivity starts at the gums, so the best way to ensure that your discomfort is minimal is to do your best to keep the gel off of your gums.
3. The whiteness factor is proportional to how long you keep the strips on your teeth (duh), so follow the directions very carefully!
4. Although the commercials show people happily window shopping and being all nimbly-pimbly, no one recommends whitening in public, you may drool. Also, if you talk too much it can disturb the strip and you may lose adhesive quality.

OK Crest, I'm sold.

I have 20 days. I feel that this time allows for a couple of things: my teeth getting hurty so I opt for an every other day strategy over daily or I'm still not lil' miss smile bright and I want to try again, I can give my mouth a break and still have 7 days to rinse and repeat. I'm excited! Lunch time stop: Duane Reade, purchase, Crest Premium. Dang, I wish I didn't have happy hour plans so I could just dive in head first after lunch.

More on ouchy teeth and brighter smiles to follow....