hello?

I know I'm a total failure at blog-living. 

Sorry, big things are in the works though and they don't really involve weddings.

If anyone is still out there reading this:

here is a shameless plug!!! our engagement session by Brian Ambrose Photography 

The first rule of wedding planning is...

You and your fiance are the only people expected to be excited about your upcoming nuptials. It is safe to say that every bride secretly 'expects' certain people to be excited and interested in wedding planning, simply because that's what friends and family do. I'm an exceptionally lucky girl because more than my 'expected' handful have announced their excitement, asked about potentially boring details or down right offered to help me. Yes, I am so very lucky. Perhaps because so many of these enthusiasts are unexpected friends, that the absence of certain peoples' interest feels exceptionally large. I'm not angry, I'm not trying to whine and say: people who aren't even supposed to care do and this person doesn't - how horrible is that? Because I know the rules of wedding planning and I know that no one is obligated to ask or to care. That doesn't mean that someones apparent apathy isn't going to down right hurt and make me feel like the total pitts. It wigs me out that I've allowed someones total disinterest hang such a cloud over my head, but it has and it hurts and that hurt gets displaced into anger and that's not right. I guess it's just the way it is, tough.

Anyway, here is the list of things we have to accomplish in the next year:
1. Find Someone to marry us (eek).
2. Transportation
3. Save the Dates
4. Invitations
5. DJ
6. Ceremony Music
7. Gather more vintage-looking cut bowls
8. Favors?
9. Bridesmaid dresses
10. Suits for Steve and the guys
11. Escort card fiasco (it's a battle right now)
12. Out of Town Bags
13. Hair/Makeup for me
14. I need shoes
15. Honeymoon - everything
16. First Dance
17. Details, details, details
18. Should we or should we not get a tent?
19. Parents gifts
20. Buy attendants gifts
21. Figure out where the cake is coming from
22. Rehearsal dinner location

...OK, I think that's it? Hopefully some of this can be accomplished during September since I have like 10 days off thanks to Jewish Holidays.

test.

xoxo, from Reading, PA and my new phone.

test.

xoxo, from Reading, PA and my new phone.

baby loves a theme...

Helvetica isn't working. It keeps giving me Helvetica's evil step-brother Arial. I'm not having a great day. I wouldn't even call it a good day. I'm kind of stressing about absolutely everything for no particular reason and it's making me cranky and melancholy. I'm pretty sure this has to do with not having my ADHD medication totally copacetic with my brain.* I feel like these down times of pseudo restless sadness are good times to push myself to do things that stimulate me in a way I find gratifying; and since I like to wax loftily with my unsolicited (sometimes solicited) advice, I am going to talk about wedding party thank you gifts!

This was one of the FAQ's on TK's boards when I was a regular and I think it's a good one, although you should probably scan a message board before you ask this question, if you jump the gun you'll be the 12,000,000th customer. So, let me answer this question (again): DO NOT BE FOOLED. I know, it's a little known fact that marketing departments like to trick us brides into buying a million pieces of junk that we will never want to see again after the wedding is over. Your bridesmaids do not want bedazzled shirts that declare 'team bride' or 'bridesmaid' or 'brideslave', etc. They also don't want totes filled with glittering plastic that will break and clutter up their closets and/or trash bins. They're probably also big girls and you can rely on them to pick out their own jewelry for the day of your wedding, and buying them something for the day of YOUR wedding is not a thank you gift, it's a uniform. David Tutera is wrong, they don't need to wear the same accessories. Your bridesmaids want to feel appreciated and acknowledged. The same kind of acknowledgement that you want, simply for being a bride. They're individuals and they're your best friends; if all of your best friends have the same taste in jewelry, I don't believe you. Etiquette and the power of friendship compels you to treat them as individuals, not a collective hive. So, keep them in mind as your besties not as your bridesmaids.

That being said...is there anything wrong with a theme? Steve loves themes and so do I.** We had one conversation about wedding party gifts and it went something like this:

Steve: Oh, yeah....I have to get them presents. How much should we spend?
Me: Hmph. I don't know? How much do we love them?
Steve: Like $75-$100 worth?
Me: That seems reasonable.

FYI, Steve and I do not actually put a dollar value on how much we love our friends. This is just the way we talk. Also, that is a lot of money for us, we just love our friends and they have all been wonderful to us. Anyway, there was a lull in the conversation and I was probably watching Law and Order: Criminal Intent, when I look over and see Steve's screen.

Me: OMG! You're not looking at Things Remembered, are you? No! Bad Steve!
Steve: What? That's what you do for gifts. Aren't you getting the girls jewelry with their initials on it?
Me: I have no idea what I am getting 'them', I'm not getting 'them' anything, I'm getting 5 of my friends a present! 'Them' as a group, not withstanding!
Steve: Ok, wedding Nazi. So...cuff links?
Me: No! You have to get them something that they will all love as individuals.
Steve: Can't I get them all the same thing, but different? I think there should be a theme. I like themes, everything should be themed.
Me: Only if it's the most righteous theme ever like spoiler alert.

And then there was this awesome moment of clarity where we just stared at each other and realized, we had the most epic theme ever. The theme will not end with the groomsmen, because my ladies are for sure getting this theme, too. I am so excited because everyone is going to be thrilled with their gift and Steve's compulsive need for thematic presents will be fulfilled. Every time I think of it, I just want to cackle like the devil in the pale moonlight, I'm so stoked on buying them their presents. If you've ever read my response to this question on the message boards, then you probably know how I finished that sentence and what the theme is. If you do, I hope you get a chuckle out of this (something that started as a persistent joke is being realized) and don't say it because my wedding party reads my blog - and I really like to give them teasers.




* These things are a delicate science and for any ladies who have been contemplating toying with mood altering drugs on your wedding day, M addresses every reason (better than I could) why you shouldn't here.  

** I'm going to pull this once: I don't care what you think about themes!! This is going to be hilarious and everyone will love it and laugh, and it will be epic, don't judge me! It's MY day.

Attempts

HOLY CRAP! BLOGGER HAS HELVETICA!!!

Ok, sorry. That excitement is over. I am, really excited though. Helvetica is best, invest.

I'm not really sure where my blog is going to go from here. I have been having some struggles. Earlier this week I was diagnosed with ADHD (for the third time) and have started a fairly strict regiment to help me live with it, but more importantly adapt to the treatment of it. I have had it forever, just never maintained proper care of a problem. Now I'm so used to the mental static that the clarity is making me feel estranged - even lonely. One of the symptoms of ADHD that I had fallen prey to was an inability to finish things. I would ravenously (almost manically) start a project and then the anxiety that came with a possibility of failure would just make me shut down, become lethargic and start a whole new project. In turn, I would have all of these haphazard started ideas that would never be realized.

I started to get depressed a few months ago when I realized that my notebook (I love writing) was filled with stories and poems that were 1/4 finished, 1/2 finshed, plot outlines that should have been started but never were. Then, when I came back to work from vacation I came back to a mass of lists that were scribbled and re-noted, crossed off an starred, a complete chaos system that funked me out because it was so overwhelming. Trying to handle the situation started to give me tension headaches that turned into migraines. I would get so bogged down by distractions that I would literally stand in front of a water fountain for a good 30 seconds before I remembered to fill my bottle. It was seriously time to take control. I was nervous because I have a horrible history with medications, but I sucked it up. My doctor and I had a conversation that went something like this:

Dr.: So, you like writing but you haven't been writing?
Me: Uh-huh...
Dr.: Do you write at all?
Me: I have a blog? I've been neglecting it...I have a book of unfinished poems, and a yelp page?
Dr.: Ok, let's get you some homework assignments.

Since Dr. realizes that I am not at a stage where I can be trusted to write daily if I have to be held accountable for the content, we have decided on this: I have to write a daily Yelp review. It's easier than a blog post because the subject matter is given to me, I am in control of the length of the article and it's theraputic because it's writing. Hopefully once my mind and body adjusts to the adderall and I can level out, I'll be able to go back to writing the way I used to. Steve says I shouldn't give up my blog, though. So I won't. I'm going to try to keep it going, I just can't promise anything in the way of continuity. Steve said that, if I make it a point to write one blog post (about anything!) a week, it's like doing extra credit, and if I write one Yelp review a day and one blog post a week for the next month, he will get me a surprise. I like surprises, AND HELVETICA! He is such a good fiance, he just wants me to get better and happy.

So, yeah. If you've been here solely for wedding, I guess I'll see you later. Obviously, there will be wedding talk but I think that this needs to turn into a more theraputic space of interwebs because I'm not good at following through on themes (let's hope Yelp helps).  By theraputic I don't necessarily mean a journal of my struggles with ADHD or with anything. Stop back and you may find some short stories or some pieces of memoirs or some more "OMG, YOU GUYS. HELVETICA" a movie or book review, a haiku, I don't know (I don't know if I'll have the time).

If you like my writing and want to make me feel good about myself by commenting on my reviews you can go here.

i, idiosyncratic

I'm going to wax personal at you: I have never been popular. I am not even good at being popular. I remember going to a summer party back in 2005 and this girl I went to HS with was like, "OMG, B. I can't believe you're being so nice to me. I always thought you hated me." and I was like, "Derp?! lulz. No, never." (and it's true, I never hated this girl, and she just shrugged and was like, "Well I was just pretty sure you hated everyone." My head probably tilted like a pinball machine and I almost 100% definitely pouted. However, this was not a new phenomena in my life, in Kindergarten my teacher had to call my mom because some girl ran home crying because I vehemently refused to play with her. I never offered an explanation as to why. PS. I still don't know why, sorry, girl. I hope you don't hold it against me and somehow in the future have the ability to influence my life in a negative way and opt for vengeance.

I do have a lot of popular friends. I have always had well-loved friends and have lingered like a creep on the fringes of their social groups silently judging those I didn't like and wistfully wishing that the ones I did like would be nice to me. Unfortunately, my 'I don't like you and am silently judging you face' and my 'Plz come play wif me' faces are strikingly similar and I am oft misunderstood (FYI, I also look like that when I am trying to get something out of my teeth, so sometimes I'm not doing anything except eating). Anyway, I have always been a tiny bit jealous of my friends who always know a bazillion people and everyone remembers their birthdays and wants to say "hi". This envy has never paralyzed me or made me feel lonely and in fact I feel that my inability to be nice to everyone has actually given me a beneficial position in life. I am only surrounded by the people I chose to be and by god they better live up to my insanely high standards of friendship, valor and zombie fighting.

The problem is this: when I do become liked or slightly popular at a certain place, I become ferocious. I mean, I go ballistically Regina George, I get jealous of new people who enter the room, I sulk when someone gets more attention than me, I over compensate by talking loudly and flailing my arms...it's embarrassing and I get mean. What? Why? I have no freaking idea. I could blame it on my only childhood but I was never attention starved. I could hypothesize that it's because I have, on numerous occasions been mortified by people I pledged an unyielding loyalty to, because every time I make a friend I make a promise of Musketeer style loyalty (It's kind of creepy and often not reciprocated and then you are little black Xs over your eyes in all of our pictures dead to me). It could be because I never really looked like a child just a small, very creepy adult Anyway, there are a bunch of fingers I could point and a million savage tears I could cry but I don't like to place undue blame anywhere.

The point is: it's a personal problem and I clearly need to work on my people skills. This is kind of wedding related because if I teeter on "Judgy Face" and "Attention Starved Rapid Chipmunk" then my guests will probably hate me all day. I also need to get a grip otherwise I will probably cry myself to sleep if we prove not to be the most awesome trivia team of all time in Sweet Ups' finals on the 27th. I feel like the bartenders there genuinely like me and that gives me heartburn - I don't want to let them down. If we don't win, we will no longer be the center of attention, we'll have been abandoned, everyone will judge us instead of us having the ability and right to judge them. Is my point coming across? I am nuerotically inappropriate with this! And yes! It has to do with something so frivolous as popularity. Over the years I have tried to adapt to be all like, "I don't care" exterior and to an extent it's true, I honestly don't care about most people's opinions. But, but, but...the other team was so snarky to us! I never want them to win a danged thing in their entire lives! You see? It's a vicious cycle.

OK. I think I'm done. I'm sorry if this sounds really stupid or whiny. It's just how I feel right now.

OMG. HI!

I have been totally, 100% MIA from this lil' old blog of mine. That's ok, though. I was mostly enjoying myself.

Because I am no good at re-hashing a weeks worth of nonevents and events, I am going to sumarize this way. Rye and Fette Sau, next time you're in Brooklyn you want to eat at those locations. Also, don't ride your bike when it feels like 102 degrees on the 4th of July. Trust me and save yourself the struggles.

My cousin got married this weekend!!! Yay Bob and Allison! It was a gorgeous and delicious wedding and I am so lucky to have been there. I hadn't been to their venue (The Aqua Turf in Southington, CT) since my senior prom but I was blown away by how beautiful and detailed everything was. Allison was a stunning bride. It was a great time with friends, family and food. My mom managed to break her ankle getting to the car though, so I could have done without that.

Bob's wedding reaffirmed something for me: we're taking dancing lessons. They were having so much fun and their first dance was just to die for. I'm getting teary eyed again, y'all. Weddings...they bring out so much amazing.

Tonight Steve and I are hammering out a timeline for our wedding! I can't wait. :) Ok. I'm feeling stale and I need to catch up on my work (and blog reading) I have been away from the internet for a good chunk o' time.

what is your favorite food?

bacon.

Ask me anything

hello?

Y

It has been two twelve hour days. Thank you, inventory. Up on my feet, away from the internet, counting menorahs, kiddush cups, and alef bet games. You know what? When I come staggering home around 10:30pm, franzia is my only friend. This is my hella sad and tired face. 

BUT. Vacay starts on Friday and then it's a week of sleeping late and hanging out in New York City. We would go somewhere, if we weren't planning a wedding...and could like, afford it.  But, I'm not going to lie: so so so nice to have a week off with my boo!

I was going to say more, but I can't remember. I'm too tired so here is an Elvis for you to enjoy. Don't reproach my absence:

one of those days...

You know? Today has been the total pitts when it comes to my mental stability and train of thought and I think I may be dressed slightly inappropriate for work. Furthermore, why do those bananas own pajamas but no suitable attire for being in public? Happy friday, y'all.

It's Thursday!

Which means it's almost Friday! Does anyone have any awesome weekend plans? Steve and I may register Elvis for a "How Fast Is Your Wiener" Race. A-yup, a dachshund dash.

Tonight we are going to a gallery opening in Chelsea (we're so New York). Steve's childhood friend Emily works for a gallery, so when we're lucky we get privy to the posh 11th avenue art world (and free wine!). Last night I went to Union Pool with my friend Chris to see a secret Rapture show. It was so much fun. They were very successful at keeping it on the down low so the back room wasn't too cramped albeit still packed. They played so many good jams, I boogied completely. While I was watching the show all I could think of was that scene in Nick and Nora's Ultimate Playlist where they go to Union Pool thinking the band is going to be there but its something else entirely...something horrible. There is this one guy getting it on all by himself. You have to wonder: dude, your taste in music sucks but you're having fun at a solo show.

quick iPod project update: I have 45 songs, and have listened to about 600.

hi! I like your blog. My wedding is in a year and I think what you have to say is pretty cool. Are you on a diet? What do you suggest for losing weight before the big day?

Thanks! It's good to know I am not the only person who thinks what I have to say is pretty cool. Haha.

To answer your question: no, I am not on a diet but that doesn't mean that I don't have a diet. I'm gluten intolerant and have been gluten free for two years now. That makes it easy to avoid delicious carb foods and cakes. I try to eat healthily and I'm sure to only eat when I'm hungry, not when I'm bored (ok, sometimes when I'm bored).

The biggest restriction I have on myself is that I only drink soda on the weekends. I am a soda addict and for the sake of my teeth and my waist line, I implemented this system. Trying to limit sugary drinks is probably not a bad step for anyone.

In general, I am not a fan of diets. In my experience, diets make food the enemy. Food is your fuel and your friend, totally not the enemy. Poor choices and lack of self control are you enemy. I do understand the desire to slim down and look the best for your day but a crash diet is never the answer. Think about how stressed and busy you will be in the weeks before your wedding - how are you going to cope with all of that stress and running around if you are going on a half empty tank? Do not want.

Since you have a year, you have plenty of time. Evaluate how much weight you want to lose. Is it a matter of a couple of pounds? This can probably be done by doing something as simple as taking the stairs every day at work instead of the elevator, switching to skim milk in your lattes, or exercising more restraint when it comes to your portions.

Do you want to lose more than that? Maybe you could re-vamp your lifestyle entirely. Analyze your eating habbits and think about why you're eating what you're eating. There are a lot of great programs that can help for this kind of thing. A lot of people I know have had great success with Weight Watchers. The key to their progress was that they didn't expect to just buy a ton of frozen weight watcher meals and snacks and shed the pounds, they applied the system to everything. They learned about what they were putting into their bodies and how much of it they were putting in. The program grows with you (or shrinks with you) as you go on and not only will it help you lose weight in a stable manner, it can give you the tools to maintaining your new shape!

I'm not trying to sound like an advertisement. I've just met a lot of people with a lot of positive feed back. Of course, I am not a doctor or a dietician, so you should probably consult an expert before you make any rash decisions.

The best advice I can give is: eat healthy and exercise. Yay? I hope you still think what I have to say is pretty cool.

Ask me anything

iPod Project Official Day 1

I promise I won't post daily progress on the project, but this is the first day! I was feeling quite ambitious and decided that instead of filtering through and only listen to wedding appropriate bands, I was going to put my entire iPod...on shuffle!!! Aaaah!! All 8,000 songs! It's lunch time and I have gotten through about 430 of them. I haven't listened to a lot of them all the way through (obviously) and sometimes I'm not even sure what these songs are doing on my iPod! Out of the 430, I have 23 songs I put on the list. But that's not all: check out how organized I am:

Totally color coded! I love color coding. I have a selection for songs that should be played later on in the evening and also songs that I am thinking of for the cocktail hour. I am on this wedding bizniz. What are your favorite songs to boogie to at weddings?

iPod Project

Happy Father's Day, Dad!!!

Did everyone have a nice weekend? I was murderously ill on Friday with a migraine to write home about, no bueno. Even still, we headed down to Philadelphia to kick it with Steve's family for the weekend. It was a great time, we hit up a flea market in Lambertsville and picked up two carved glass bowls for our centerpeices. On Sunday we went to a family picnic on the Susquehana and ate a bunch of delicious food.

The 3 hour ride into the middle of nowhere PA on Sunday, caused quite a stir about our reception music. There are a lot of songs that I don't want anywhere near our wedding, which some people think are a necessity. I won't go all Bravo TV on anyone, but Single Ladies will not be played during my bouquet toss, the chicken dance, macarena and electric slide are in permanent exile and I will not be accepting any bribe to ensure Stairway to Heaven is the last dance. With the exception of those death stare worthy suggestions, I am pretty open to what music is played. I think that the best play lists surprise and delight and I want my guests to have a simply delightful time!  In fact there is an overwhelming amount of music that I want played; however Steve and I have different ideas of what should and shouldn't be played during the reception so we have launched a project into compromise!

THE iPOD PROJECT!

Each of us has a small portable notepad and pen to be kept on us at all times. Over the next 4-5 months we're required to listen to every viable band on our ipod (Iron Maiden, Orchid and Converge need not apply) and write down the songs that we think are a good fit for our reception. Everything that is on the shared list will automatically be included, the others have to be given a fair listen to and a mutual verdict will be handed down. The final list, on top of those songs that are already on a play list at the bequest of our family will then be handed over to the DJ we (finally) hire, then we'll get professional feedback. Sounds good, right?! We'll see.

On a side note, it's Monday and I am already counting down until Friday (insert heavy sigh). All of the traveling just makes the weekend seem like not much of a weekend. Here is what I want to do this weekend: ride my new bike, eat ice cream, go to a park, sun bathe, listen to music (via the ipod project), play some rock band. And did I show you my new bike yet? No! Good heavens, check it pretties:

Isn't it something? The Fuji feather...I love it! I totally shouldn't have purchased it, but I love it. I rationalize the splurge on the fact that Steve adores riding bikes. I never felt safe on the one I bought for $70 off of some guy on the street and not only was it a sketchy ride, but it was waaay too heavy and big for me. Fluffy (my name for the bike) rides like a dream and I get super stoked on riding her all over Brooklyn! So, while I should not have probably spent the dimes, I see her as an investiment in future (free) time spent with Steve and a mutual hobby. Blah, blah, blah....but she also promotes health! Go, Fluffy, go!!

Gowns I love, but could never wear....pt 2

And to be honest, with some of these dresses it's not that I could never wear them; it's that I already have my dress and it's the most perfect thing you will ever see after I get hitched (correction, second most because duh your wedding dress is the most perfect). Here they are: some gorgeous gowns that will run you less than $500:

Let's get right into it.

1. Sue Wong Embroidered V-Neck Gown, $488 at Nordstrom.com. This is great for someone who loves the laced beaded look for less. Antiqued styled dresses can often be exceptionally expensive because lace is costly and beading is labor intensive. This lovely Sue Wong gown offers the same vintage inspired feeling for a lot less than some others will run you.

2. Aidan Mattox Strapless Gown, $370 at Norstrom.com. I love this gown and so do people who have purchased it! It has gotten rave reviews from people who bought it online for both weddings and vow renewal ceremonies. That's always nice to read, right? People were enthused with the quality and loved the way the subtle silver patterning was set against the ivory. What I love about this dress is that the designer remembered my favorite rule: elegance is simplicity. I feel like sometimes less expensive designers go over the top with embellishments trying to create an uber fancy gown and they end up making it look costumey. I think this is a chic feeling dress with a good price tag.

4. Open Back Pleated Gown, $398 at BCBG.com. The Grecian revival is not my style at all, but this gown embodies the trend of the times in a classic way. Without the over done drapery that, in my humble opinion, has some wedding gowns looking like a toga hybrid, this gown has a flowing elegance and simplicity that makes it wonderful for an intimate wedding or beach setting affair.

5. Silk Avery Dress, $450 at JCrew.com. You didn't think I would leave J Crew out of this, did ya?! I have spied so many brides wearing J Crew in the last year and (bahda-da-da) I'm loving it! The clean cut, irresistible lines and natural cling of the fabric just make this dress my choice; and it has also gotten rave reviews!

I wanted to say something about wedding dresses in general again, inspired by a post on Sane Bride about picking the dress. Everyone has their dream dress and what they think they want and what they end up with. My advice is pure and simple: go with your gut and never be discouraged in your choice. Sometimes it's painful to be looking at these weddings online and seeing these ravishingly expensive gowns. No matter what your budget, as long as you carry yourself with grace and sophistication and allow all of your joy radiate out, you will be the most gorgeous bride on the face of the planet. Trust me! Every bride I have seen has been the most beautiful girl in the world (except for one bride, but I h8 her so she doesn't count). The main function of the gown is to enhance your shine, your energy and your confidence.

I knew that my dress was the dress because when I looked in the mirror I started to cry uncontrollably. How did you know?

I am so tired!

I am feeling more Red Bull inspired than I am wedding inspired. In spite of all of my elation that I get to start planning, I'm all like "...what up?" I found a new great blog though! Sane Bride Advice. I read the articles on picking your colors and I  thought I would just pay homage to my own:

Dear Navy Blue and Orange,

Seriously, you're the best. Orange: you come in so many shades and varieties and you lend yourself to the natural nuances of my venue, what could I do without you? And Navy, you! You embrace the greens and brown accents that autumnal New England offers. So, thank you for adding your richness to nature. My dear colors, I cannot wait to see you in all of your glory. (which will be my wedding day, because I am not a Mets fan)

XOXO,
B

I told you I was tired. On the flip side, I think there is some sound reasoning to my love letter. It is the same sound reasoning that goes into what the ladies at Sane were saying: your colors should enhance your environment, not fight it. I am kind of a purist when it comes to the need to respect seasonal colors. I will tell anyone as much as well. Just ask me what I think about black, red and silver for an outdoor wedding set in the middle of July.

I also don't think you should be inflexible with your colors as long as you keep with the same base. I plan on having multiple shades of blue - sans anything crossing the line into the aqua or Tiffany blue region. We won't wage ware on that, royal blues, natural blues and anything with that kind of purple base. For the orange, I am going to steer clear of anything that doesn't look like a natural orange. I am thinking more of a burnt fall-ish color.

That's all I got. Inventory is in a few days and I have a pile of work on my desk. I do have some well reviewed wedding dresses under $500 to share. Soon! In other news, I think I am buying a bike tonight!

Make it your own...

I was reading my color coordinating Martha Stewart rag in bed last night and there a very interesting section about ceremonies and how brides tend to overlook them. No, that's not the word I want. It isn't that as brides we overlook the importance of the ceremony or what it means to us to proclaim our unyielding devotion to our misters, it's that commercialism and stylizing all seems to center around the reception.

While the reception is beau coup important, the focal point of the planning and the most important people to keep in mind while planning the awesome party are your guests. (Yes, your guests) Remember, the reception is a place to receive and interact with the people you love as a general celebration and thank you for coming to witness your ceremony. The ceremony? Well, honeys - that is all about you and your honey.

I have to confess, I can play the guilty bride when it comes to neglecting my ceremony. When Jane asked me about ceremony decor, I offered her a blank stare and sweet smile in return. I want to step up and say: never again and thank you Martha! More importantly, thank you for smacking me across the face while I still have a year. Here are some things I know about my ceremony: it will be outside and I don't want any biblical readings. Hopefully, Steve's grandfather will be marrying us and we will have written our own vows.

I have known these things for a while but I haven't done an inch of legwork. Well, let's change that. I am going to start looking into readings. Right now, I have a few authors (Marquez, Tolstoy, Mann, Rilke) that I have always imagined could be read on my wedding day, but now it is time to start to hone in on quotes that are not only about love but can serve as a reflection on who Steve and I are and what we're about not as individuals but as a whole. There are so many wise poets out there and I have such a love for words that although this is a wonderful and reflective task, it is going to be overwhelming. Oh, well, ich suche mit den Hoffnung.

Then there are the processional and recessional, I'm at a loss for this as well. The only thing I do know about this, is that Cannon in D is not coming anywhere near my ceremony. Back in grad school I did a dance to this song and every time I hear it, I can't think of anything else besides the choreography. Anyway I want more contemporary music during the ceremony. Maybe something off of Sufjan Stevens' Seven Swans or Jimmy Eat World's Clarity. While Steve is the music guru and he has insisted on having an electric guitars over a string quartet (I condeded) I don't really want Built to Spill to be played during the ceremony. While typing this, I just realized that somehow, the music is going to be more complex than trying to perfect the readings. Isn't that a little backwards?

here is some eye candy.

I'm working on it!

'it' being another "Dresses I Love but am not Wearing" (by request love mail - that makes me so happy!). I wanted to give myself a challenge and I set the budget to be under $500. I want it to be comprehensive and I'm busy watching 90's television and reading about Lisbeth Salander's impending trial in The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. I just needed to give a thumbs up and total word to your mom, to my friend Jessica. She writes a much better blog than this one: One Girl No Diet.

It's been on my stalk list and I read it always, but I must, reiterate her earlier statements today about anchovies. You guys, have you ever had anchovy pizza? Pasta Puttanesca made (right) with these delicious fishes? A correct Cesar Salad? No? Then go try it. "Bacon of Fish" - Jessica, the wise.