I know I'm a total failure at blog-living.
Sorry, big things are in the works though and they don't really involve weddings.
If anyone is still out there reading this:
here is a shameless plug!!! our engagement session by Brian Ambrose Photography
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
The first rule of wedding planning is...
You and your fiance are the only people expected to be excited about your upcoming nuptials. It is safe to say that every bride secretly 'expects' certain people to be excited and interested in wedding planning, simply because that's what friends and family do. I'm an exceptionally lucky girl because more than my 'expected' handful have announced their excitement, asked about potentially boring details or down right offered to help me. Yes, I am so very lucky. Perhaps because so many of these enthusiasts are unexpected friends, that the absence of certain peoples' interest feels exceptionally large. I'm not angry, I'm not trying to whine and say: people who aren't even supposed to care do and this person doesn't - how horrible is that? Because I know the rules of wedding planning and I know that no one is obligated to ask or to care. That doesn't mean that someones apparent apathy isn't going to down right hurt and make me feel like the total pitts. It wigs me out that I've allowed someones total disinterest hang such a cloud over my head, but it has and it hurts and that hurt gets displaced into anger and that's not right. I guess it's just the way it is, tough.
Anyway, here is the list of things we have to accomplish in the next year:
1. Find Someone to marry us (eek).
2. Transportation
3. Save the Dates
4. Invitations
5. DJ
6. Ceremony Music
7. Gather more vintage-looking cut bowls
8. Favors?
9. Bridesmaid dresses
10. Suits for Steve and the guys
11. Escort card fiasco (it's a battle right now)
12. Out of Town Bags
13. Hair/Makeup for me
14. I need shoes
15. Honeymoon - everything
16. First Dance
17. Details, details, details
18. Should we or should we not get a tent?
19. Parents gifts
20. Buy attendants gifts
21. Figure out where the cake is coming from
22. Rehearsal dinner location
...OK, I think that's it? Hopefully some of this can be accomplished during September since I have like 10 days off thanks to Jewish Holidays.
Anyway, here is the list of things we have to accomplish in the next year:
1. Find Someone to marry us (eek).
2. Transportation
3. Save the Dates
4. Invitations
5. DJ
6. Ceremony Music
7. Gather more vintage-looking cut bowls
8. Favors?
9. Bridesmaid dresses
10. Suits for Steve and the guys
11. Escort card fiasco (it's a battle right now)
12. Out of Town Bags
13. Hair/Makeup for me
14. I need shoes
15. Honeymoon - everything
16. First Dance
17. Details, details, details
18. Should we or should we not get a tent?
19. Parents gifts
20. Buy attendants gifts
21. Figure out where the cake is coming from
22. Rehearsal dinner location
...OK, I think that's it? Hopefully some of this can be accomplished during September since I have like 10 days off thanks to Jewish Holidays.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
baby loves a theme...
Helvetica isn't working. It keeps giving me Helvetica's evil step-brother Arial. I'm not having a great day. I wouldn't even call it a good day. I'm kind of stressing about absolutely everything for no particular reason and it's making me cranky and melancholy. I'm pretty sure this has to do with not having my ADHD medication totally copacetic with my brain.* I feel like these down times of pseudo restless sadness are good times to push myself to do things that stimulate me in a way I find gratifying; and since I like to wax loftily with my unsolicited (sometimes solicited) advice, I am going to talk about wedding party thank you gifts!
This was one of the FAQ's on TK's boards when I was a regular and I think it's a good one, although you should probably scan a message board before you ask this question, if you jump the gun you'll be the 12,000,000th customer. So, let me answer this question (again): DO NOT BE FOOLED. I know, it's a little known fact that marketing departments like to trick us brides into buying a million pieces of junk that we will never want to see again after the wedding is over. Your bridesmaids do not want bedazzled shirts that declare 'team bride' or 'bridesmaid' or 'brideslave', etc. They also don't want totes filled with glittering plastic that will break and clutter up their closets and/or trash bins. They're probably also big girls and you can rely on them to pick out their own jewelry for the day of your wedding, and buying them something for the day of YOUR wedding is not a thank you gift, it's a uniform. David Tutera is wrong, they don't need to wear the same accessories. Your bridesmaids want to feel appreciated and acknowledged. The same kind of acknowledgement that you want, simply for being a bride. They're individuals and they're your best friends; if all of your best friends have the same taste in jewelry, I don't believe you. Etiquette and the power of friendship compels you to treat them as individuals, not a collective hive. So, keep them in mind as your besties not as your bridesmaids.
That being said...is there anything wrong with a theme? Steve loves themes and so do I.** We had one conversation about wedding party gifts and it went something like this:
Steve: Oh, yeah....I have to get them presents. How much should we spend?
Me: Hmph. I don't know? How much do we love them?
Steve: Like $75-$100 worth?
Me: That seems reasonable.
FYI, Steve and I do not actually put a dollar value on how much we love our friends. This is just the way we talk. Also, that is a lot of money for us, we just love our friends and they have all been wonderful to us. Anyway, there was a lull in the conversation and I was probably watching Law and Order: Criminal Intent, when I look over and see Steve's screen.
Me: OMG! You're not looking at Things Remembered, are you? No! Bad Steve!
Steve: What? That's what you do for gifts. Aren't you getting the girls jewelry with their initials on it?
Me: I have no idea what I am getting 'them', I'm not getting 'them' anything, I'm getting 5 of my friends a present! 'Them' as a group, not withstanding!
Steve: Ok, wedding Nazi. So...cuff links?
Me: No! You have to get them something that they will all love as individuals.
Steve: Can't I get them all the same thing, but different? I think there should be a theme. I like themes, everything should be themed.
Me: Only if it's the most righteous theme ever like spoiler alert.
And then there was this awesome moment of clarity where we just stared at each other and realized, we had the most epic theme ever. The theme will not end with the groomsmen, because my ladies are for sure getting this theme, too. I am so excited because everyone is going to be thrilled with their gift and Steve's compulsive need for thematic presents will be fulfilled. Every time I think of it, I just want to cackle like the devil in the pale moonlight, I'm so stoked on buying them their presents. If you've ever read my response to this question on the message boards, then you probably know how I finished that sentence and what the theme is. If you do, I hope you get a chuckle out of this (something that started as a persistent joke is being realized) and don't say it because my wedding party reads my blog - and I really like to give them teasers.
* These things are a delicate science and for any ladies who have been contemplating toying with mood altering drugs on your wedding day, M addresses every reason (better than I could) why you shouldn't here.
** I'm going to pull this once: I don't care what you think about themes!! This is going to be hilarious and everyone will love it and laugh, and it will be epic, don't judge me! It's MY day.
This was one of the FAQ's on TK's boards when I was a regular and I think it's a good one, although you should probably scan a message board before you ask this question, if you jump the gun you'll be the 12,000,000th customer. So, let me answer this question (again): DO NOT BE FOOLED. I know, it's a little known fact that marketing departments like to trick us brides into buying a million pieces of junk that we will never want to see again after the wedding is over. Your bridesmaids do not want bedazzled shirts that declare 'team bride' or 'bridesmaid' or 'brideslave', etc. They also don't want totes filled with glittering plastic that will break and clutter up their closets and/or trash bins. They're probably also big girls and you can rely on them to pick out their own jewelry for the day of your wedding, and buying them something for the day of YOUR wedding is not a thank you gift, it's a uniform. David Tutera is wrong, they don't need to wear the same accessories. Your bridesmaids want to feel appreciated and acknowledged. The same kind of acknowledgement that you want, simply for being a bride. They're individuals and they're your best friends; if all of your best friends have the same taste in jewelry, I don't believe you. Etiquette and the power of friendship compels you to treat them as individuals, not a collective hive. So, keep them in mind as your besties not as your bridesmaids.
That being said...is there anything wrong with a theme? Steve loves themes and so do I.** We had one conversation about wedding party gifts and it went something like this:
Steve: Oh, yeah....I have to get them presents. How much should we spend?
Me: Hmph. I don't know? How much do we love them?
Steve: Like $75-$100 worth?
Me: That seems reasonable.
FYI, Steve and I do not actually put a dollar value on how much we love our friends. This is just the way we talk. Also, that is a lot of money for us, we just love our friends and they have all been wonderful to us. Anyway, there was a lull in the conversation and I was probably watching Law and Order: Criminal Intent, when I look over and see Steve's screen.
Me: OMG! You're not looking at Things Remembered, are you? No! Bad Steve!
Steve: What? That's what you do for gifts. Aren't you getting the girls jewelry with their initials on it?
Me: I have no idea what I am getting 'them', I'm not getting 'them' anything, I'm getting 5 of my friends a present! 'Them' as a group, not withstanding!
Steve: Ok, wedding Nazi. So...cuff links?
Me: No! You have to get them something that they will all love as individuals.
Steve: Can't I get them all the same thing, but different? I think there should be a theme. I like themes, everything should be themed.
Me: Only if it's the most righteous theme ever like spoiler alert.
And then there was this awesome moment of clarity where we just stared at each other and realized, we had the most epic theme ever. The theme will not end with the groomsmen, because my ladies are for sure getting this theme, too. I am so excited because everyone is going to be thrilled with their gift and Steve's compulsive need for thematic presents will be fulfilled. Every time I think of it, I just want to cackle like the devil in the pale moonlight, I'm so stoked on buying them their presents. If you've ever read my response to this question on the message boards, then you probably know how I finished that sentence and what the theme is. If you do, I hope you get a chuckle out of this (something that started as a persistent joke is being realized) and don't say it because my wedding party reads my blog - and I really like to give them teasers.
* These things are a delicate science and for any ladies who have been contemplating toying with mood altering drugs on your wedding day, M addresses every reason (better than I could) why you shouldn't here.
** I'm going to pull this once: I don't care what you think about themes!! This is going to be hilarious and everyone will love it and laugh, and it will be epic, don't judge me! It's MY day.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Attempts
HOLY CRAP! BLOGGER HAS HELVETICA!!!
Ok, sorry. That excitement is over. I am, really excited though. Helvetica is best, invest.
I'm not really sure where my blog is going to go from here. I have been having some struggles. Earlier this week I was diagnosed with ADHD (for the third time) and have started a fairly strict regiment to help me live with it, but more importantly adapt to the treatment of it. I have had it forever, just never maintained proper care of a problem. Now I'm so used to the mental static that the clarity is making me feel estranged - even lonely. One of the symptoms of ADHD that I had fallen prey to was an inability to finish things. I would ravenously (almost manically) start a project and then the anxiety that came with a possibility of failure would just make me shut down, become lethargic and start a whole new project. In turn, I would have all of these haphazard started ideas that would never be realized.
I started to get depressed a few months ago when I realized that my notebook (I love writing) was filled with stories and poems that were 1/4 finished, 1/2 finshed, plot outlines that should have been started but never were. Then, when I came back to work from vacation I came back to a mass of lists that were scribbled and re-noted, crossed off an starred, a complete chaos system that funked me out because it was so overwhelming. Trying to handle the situation started to give me tension headaches that turned into migraines. I would get so bogged down by distractions that I would literally stand in front of a water fountain for a good 30 seconds before I remembered to fill my bottle. It was seriously time to take control. I was nervous because I have a horrible history with medications, but I sucked it up. My doctor and I had a conversation that went something like this:
Dr.: So, you like writing but you haven't been writing?
Me: Uh-huh...
Dr.: Do you write at all?
Me: I have a blog? I've been neglecting it...I have a book of unfinished poems, and a yelp page?
Dr.: Ok, let's get you some homework assignments.
Since Dr. realizes that I am not at a stage where I can be trusted to write daily if I have to be held accountable for the content, we have decided on this: I have to write a daily Yelp review. It's easier than a blog post because the subject matter is given to me, I am in control of the length of the article and it's theraputic because it's writing. Hopefully once my mind and body adjusts to the adderall and I can level out, I'll be able to go back to writing the way I used to. Steve says I shouldn't give up my blog, though. So I won't. I'm going to try to keep it going, I just can't promise anything in the way of continuity. Steve said that, if I make it a point to write one blog post (about anything!) a week, it's like doing extra credit, and if I write one Yelp review a day and one blog post a week for the next month, he will get me a surprise. I like surprises, AND HELVETICA! He is such a good fiance, he just wants me to get better and happy.
So, yeah. If you've been here solely for wedding, I guess I'll see you later. Obviously, there will be wedding talk but I think that this needs to turn into a more theraputic space of interwebs because I'm not good at following through on themes (let's hope Yelp helps). By theraputic I don't necessarily mean a journal of my struggles with ADHD or with anything. Stop back and you may find some short stories or some pieces of memoirs or some more "OMG, YOU GUYS. HELVETICA" a movie or book review, a haiku, I don't know (I don't know if I'll have the time).
If you like my writing and want to make me feel good about myself by commenting on my reviews you can go here.
Ok, sorry. That excitement is over. I am, really excited though. Helvetica is best, invest.
I'm not really sure where my blog is going to go from here. I have been having some struggles. Earlier this week I was diagnosed with ADHD (for the third time) and have started a fairly strict regiment to help me live with it, but more importantly adapt to the treatment of it. I have had it forever, just never maintained proper care of a problem. Now I'm so used to the mental static that the clarity is making me feel estranged - even lonely. One of the symptoms of ADHD that I had fallen prey to was an inability to finish things. I would ravenously (almost manically) start a project and then the anxiety that came with a possibility of failure would just make me shut down, become lethargic and start a whole new project. In turn, I would have all of these haphazard started ideas that would never be realized.
I started to get depressed a few months ago when I realized that my notebook (I love writing) was filled with stories and poems that were 1/4 finished, 1/2 finshed, plot outlines that should have been started but never were. Then, when I came back to work from vacation I came back to a mass of lists that were scribbled and re-noted, crossed off an starred, a complete chaos system that funked me out because it was so overwhelming. Trying to handle the situation started to give me tension headaches that turned into migraines. I would get so bogged down by distractions that I would literally stand in front of a water fountain for a good 30 seconds before I remembered to fill my bottle. It was seriously time to take control. I was nervous because I have a horrible history with medications, but I sucked it up. My doctor and I had a conversation that went something like this:
Dr.: So, you like writing but you haven't been writing?
Me: Uh-huh...
Dr.: Do you write at all?
Me: I have a blog? I've been neglecting it...I have a book of unfinished poems, and a yelp page?
Dr.: Ok, let's get you some homework assignments.
Since Dr. realizes that I am not at a stage where I can be trusted to write daily if I have to be held accountable for the content, we have decided on this: I have to write a daily Yelp review. It's easier than a blog post because the subject matter is given to me, I am in control of the length of the article and it's theraputic because it's writing. Hopefully once my mind and body adjusts to the adderall and I can level out, I'll be able to go back to writing the way I used to. Steve says I shouldn't give up my blog, though. So I won't. I'm going to try to keep it going, I just can't promise anything in the way of continuity. Steve said that, if I make it a point to write one blog post (about anything!) a week, it's like doing extra credit, and if I write one Yelp review a day and one blog post a week for the next month, he will get me a surprise. I like surprises, AND HELVETICA! He is such a good fiance, he just wants me to get better and happy.
So, yeah. If you've been here solely for wedding, I guess I'll see you later. Obviously, there will be wedding talk but I think that this needs to turn into a more theraputic space of interwebs because I'm not good at following through on themes (let's hope Yelp helps). By theraputic I don't necessarily mean a journal of my struggles with ADHD or with anything. Stop back and you may find some short stories or some pieces of memoirs or some more "OMG, YOU GUYS. HELVETICA" a movie or book review, a haiku, I don't know (I don't know if I'll have the time).
If you like my writing and want to make me feel good about myself by commenting on my reviews you can go here.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
i, idiosyncratic
I'm going to wax personal at you: I have never been popular. I am not even good at being popular. I remember going to a summer party back in 2005 and this girl I went to HS with was like, "OMG, B. I can't believe you're being so nice to me. I always thought you hated me." and I was like, "Derp?! lulz. No, never." (and it's true, I never hated this girl, and she just shrugged and was like, "Well I was just pretty sure you hated everyone." My head probably tilted like a pinball machine and I almost 100% definitely pouted. However, this was not a new phenomena in my life, in Kindergarten my teacher had to call my mom because some girl ran home crying because I vehemently refused to play with her. I never offered an explanation as to why. PS. I still don't know why, sorry, girl. I hope you don't hold it against me and somehow in the future have the ability to influence my life in a negative way and opt for vengeance.
I do have a lot of popular friends. I have always had well-loved friends and have lingered like a creep on the fringes of their social groups silently judging those I didn't like and wistfully wishing that the ones I did like would be nice to me. Unfortunately, my 'I don't like you and am silently judging you face' and my 'Plz come play wif me' faces are strikingly similar and I am oft misunderstood (FYI, I also look like that when I am trying to get something out of my teeth, so sometimes I'm not doing anything except eating). Anyway, I have always been a tiny bit jealous of my friends who always know a bazillion people and everyone remembers their birthdays and wants to say "hi". This envy has never paralyzed me or made me feel lonely and in fact I feel that my inability to be nice to everyone has actually given me a beneficial position in life. I am only surrounded by the people I chose to be and by god they better live up to my insanely high standards of friendship, valor and zombie fighting.
The problem is this: when I do become liked or slightly popular at a certain place, I become ferocious. I mean, I go ballistically Regina George, I get jealous of new people who enter the room, I sulk when someone gets more attention than me, I over compensate by talking loudly and flailing my arms...it's embarrassing and I get mean. What? Why? I have no freaking idea. I could blame it on my only childhood but I was never attention starved. I could hypothesize that it's because I have, on numerous occasions been mortified by people I pledged an unyielding loyalty to, because every time I make a friend I make a promise of Musketeer style loyalty (It's kind of creepy and often not reciprocated and then you are little black Xs over your eyes in all of our pictures dead to me). It could be because I never really looked like a child just a small, very creepy adult Anyway, there are a bunch of fingers I could point and a million savage tears I could cry but I don't like to place undue blame anywhere.
The point is: it's a personal problem and I clearly need to work on my people skills. This is kind of wedding related because if I teeter on "Judgy Face" and "Attention Starved Rapid Chipmunk" then my guests will probably hate me all day. I also need to get a grip otherwise I will probably cry myself to sleep if we prove not to be the most awesome trivia team of all time in Sweet Ups' finals on the 27th. I feel like the bartenders there genuinely like me and that gives me heartburn - I don't want to let them down. If we don't win, we will no longer be the center of attention, we'll have been abandoned, everyone will judge us instead of us having the ability and right to judge them. Is my point coming across? I am nuerotically inappropriate with this! And yes! It has to do with something so frivolous as popularity. Over the years I have tried to adapt to be all like, "I don't care" exterior and to an extent it's true, I honestly don't care about most people's opinions. But, but, but...the other team was so snarky to us! I never want them to win a danged thing in their entire lives! You see? It's a vicious cycle.
OK. I think I'm done. I'm sorry if this sounds really stupid or whiny. It's just how I feel right now.
I do have a lot of popular friends. I have always had well-loved friends and have lingered like a creep on the fringes of their social groups silently judging those I didn't like and wistfully wishing that the ones I did like would be nice to me. Unfortunately, my 'I don't like you and am silently judging you face' and my 'Plz come play wif me' faces are strikingly similar and I am oft misunderstood (FYI, I also look like that when I am trying to get something out of my teeth, so sometimes I'm not doing anything except eating). Anyway, I have always been a tiny bit jealous of my friends who always know a bazillion people and everyone remembers their birthdays and wants to say "hi". This envy has never paralyzed me or made me feel lonely and in fact I feel that my inability to be nice to everyone has actually given me a beneficial position in life. I am only surrounded by the people I chose to be and by god they better live up to my insanely high standards of friendship, valor and zombie fighting.
The problem is this: when I do become liked or slightly popular at a certain place, I become ferocious. I mean, I go ballistically Regina George, I get jealous of new people who enter the room, I sulk when someone gets more attention than me, I over compensate by talking loudly and flailing my arms...it's embarrassing and I get mean. What? Why? I have no freaking idea. I could blame it on my only childhood but I was never attention starved. I could hypothesize that it's because I have, on numerous occasions been mortified by people I pledged an unyielding loyalty to, because every time I make a friend I make a promise of Musketeer style loyalty (It's kind of creepy and often not reciprocated and then you are little black Xs over your eyes in all of our pictures dead to me). It could be because I never really looked like a child just a small, very creepy adult Anyway, there are a bunch of fingers I could point and a million savage tears I could cry but I don't like to place undue blame anywhere.
The point is: it's a personal problem and I clearly need to work on my people skills. This is kind of wedding related because if I teeter on "Judgy Face" and "Attention Starved Rapid Chipmunk" then my guests will probably hate me all day. I also need to get a grip otherwise I will probably cry myself to sleep if we prove not to be the most awesome trivia team of all time in Sweet Ups' finals on the 27th. I feel like the bartenders there genuinely like me and that gives me heartburn - I don't want to let them down. If we don't win, we will no longer be the center of attention, we'll have been abandoned, everyone will judge us instead of us having the ability and right to judge them. Is my point coming across? I am nuerotically inappropriate with this! And yes! It has to do with something so frivolous as popularity. Over the years I have tried to adapt to be all like, "I don't care" exterior and to an extent it's true, I honestly don't care about most people's opinions. But, but, but...the other team was so snarky to us! I never want them to win a danged thing in their entire lives! You see? It's a vicious cycle.
OK. I think I'm done. I'm sorry if this sounds really stupid or whiny. It's just how I feel right now.
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